How should workers’ comp treat the possibility of industrial injuries related to UFOs? After all, this is California. And it seems that besides all of the nuts growing in the central valley, we may produce a different kind in the rest of the state.
On May 17th, the House Intelligence Counterterrorism, Counterintelligence, and Counterproliferation Subcommittee held a public hearing in Washington, D.C., on Unidentified Aerial Phenomena (UAPs). Most of us know them as UFOs or Unidentified Flying Objects.
Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence and Security Ronald Moultrie and Deputy Director of Naval Intelligence Scott Bray represented the Pentagon during the 90-minute hearing. It was the first Congressional hearing on the issue of UFOs – rather UAPs – in more than 50 years.
What’s important is that the United State Government – the same government that appointed Lloyd Austin as Secretary of Defense — has acknowledged that UFOs, by any other name, are real.
Late last year, the Department of Defense, in close collaboration with the Director of National Intelligence, directed the Under Secretary of Defense for Intelligence & Security to establish within the Office of the USD(I&S) the Airborne Object Identification and Management Synchronization Group (AOIMSG) as the successor to the U.S. Navy’s Unidentified Aerial Phenomena Task Force (UAPTF).
Part of the Congressional hearing was devoted to a progress report from the USD(I&S) and the DNI about implementing legislation establishing the AOIMSG. Well, it’s about time, is it not?
And, following form, California needs to assume a leadership position regarding UFOs. So this is an open letter to CHSWCK – the Commission on Health and Safety and Workers’ Comp formally requesting a study be immediately commissioned assessing the workers’ compensation ramifications of the issues raised by Congress, the Department of Defense, and private organizations such as the Mutual UFO Network (MUFON).
Congress has opined roughly on the idea, and it agrees. As stated by the Subcommittee Chair Representative André Carson (D-Ind.), “Today, we know better. UAPs are unexplained, it’s true. But they are real. They need to be investigated. And any threats they pose need to be mitigated.”
Injuries from UFOs Are Real
Last month, in response to a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request made by the British tabloid The Sun, we also learned some exciting things from the over 1,500 pages of declassified documents released from the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP). The AATIP was part of the DNI and the predecessor to the UAPTF, now the AOIMSG.
Specifically, one of the disclosed documents, Anomalous Acute and Subacute Field Effects on Human Biological Tissues, undertakes an analysis of injuries claimed by aviators during aerial encounters with UAPs. In addition, tucked away in Appendix A, entitled Schuessler Catalog of UFO-Related Human Physiological Effects (Frequency Distribution), is a summary of 356 selected cases of UFO-induced physiological effects on humans during close encounters.
What CHSWC Should Do
We are asking CHSWC to be sure to include such study items as:
- Does the coming and going rule apply to abductions from work or exclude abductions that happen on the way to and from work?
- Now that UFOs and presumably their alien piolets exist –Does the legislature need to gen up a presumption concerning either abduction or nearby landings effects from as yet unknown propulsion systems, burns,
- What about the cost of covering probes – please let’s not forget the probes – which may happen pre, post, or during working hours from unexpected alien events?
- What steps should employers take to protect employees?
- There is a concern, however, about whether CHSWCK can be objective. Rumor has it that member Nick Roxborough is an alien. The biggest question is when the human skin is peeled off, does he become some kind of intelligent serpent, or does he just swallow adversaries whole?
The legislature has the opportunity to provide coverage for yet another type of alien as they presumably begin to find jobs with California employers. Is it possible that employers such as Disneyland and other social or entertainment media may already have such employees? How to transfer funds to home planets may be a subject for another study.
Indeed, such a study would be valuable to policymakers in Sacramento and a judicious expenditure of employer assessments. Undoubtedly the contract will go to RAND Corporation as we heard they have special knowledge allowing them to interview a few space aliens.
OMGLOL Group
And Workers’ Comp Executive understands a new advisory committee has been formed. Known as OMGLOL, short for Official Management/Labor Group Looking into Outer space Losses. It’s said to be facilitated by Bill Zachry. But obviously, there is another separate secret call where the real decisions are formulated.
Further, it may already be incumbent upon all employers to undertake a risk assessment to gauge the exposure workers may have to the many conditions likely to result from a close encounter with an extraterrestrial. This assessment needs to be effectuated in close collaboration with representatives of employees. It should result in an effective injury and illness protection program (IIPP) informing management, supervisors, and employees of the steps to take if an employee exhibits any physiological effects documented by the AOIMSG.
The worker’s compensation system has unique challenges. There is currently no guidance in place on how to diagnose, or more importantly, to code treatment for physiological effects of first encounters that are [claimed to be] occupationally related. That takes treatment reasonably required to cure or relieve the injury out of the Official Medical Fee Schedule (OMFS) and, as such, would allow a lien to be filed.
Do aliens need specialist doctors? It could throw the entire UR, IMR, and disability systems into chaos if they do. Alien liens could become a significant cost driver in the system without legislative or regulatory intervention.
Human Injuries
Then there is the question of permanent disability. Or, more importantly, apportionment. Will any report of a treating physician or Qualified Medical Evaluator be considered complete if there is no thorough discussion of previous injury-causing close encounters?
Who does a QME consult with if there is a question of whether an underlying disabling condition is alien-related? If employers have a problem with the current medical-legal fee schedule, just wait.
The litigation system is, of course, a costly hallmark of California’s workers’ compensation. One can only wonder how soon it will be before the California Applicant’s Attorneys’ Association (CAAA) will be holding its conventions concurrent with the AlienCon event. If you have yet to be convinced of the seriousness of this existential threat to the workers’ compensation system, imagine Ufologist Giorgio Tsoukalos as a CLE provider.
Employers would be advised to take this federal government acknowledgment seriously. You can bet organizations such as WokeSafe will be working with California Labor Federation leader Lorena Gonzales (and authoress of AB5) to unionize aliens and maximize both TD and PD. Perhaps they’ll even require that PD be in line with the maximum probable payroll for the highest-paid alien gender so that whatever gender(s) the aliens may be or claim to be will collect amounts in line with the maximum pay for any gender in the classification regardless of actual experience or earnings. But what happens if the aliens are genderless?
The question of whether aliens are among us in our everyday lives, Nick aside) is still open.
There certainly are those who think they are already here. In looking at various actions taken by some insurers over the past decade in terms of rate filings for example, one might think there are already other-worldly influences operating within the insurance industry. But talking about actuaries is for another time – unless you’ve read page two.